Recently I realized I’ve been too hard on myself, after for so long believing I’ve been too lazy or undisciplined to actually do something of value. All I could’ve think of were project that never started/never finished or why haven’t gotten farther in my life. Could only think of what could’ve been, instead of what is and what it actually means

However, one night before falling asleep I started to think: if I could meet my 19-year old self, what would I tell him? Suddenly I started to think of several things, many things I don’t want to forget. I’ve said many times “memories makes us who we are”, but what does it makes us if we can’t even remember the most precious memories that give us strength? So I decided to share with you this open letter to my 19-years old-self: partly since it will help me make it easier to remember but also for all of you who also can’t help to feel powerless at night. If this open letter can at least help ONE of you in any way, would means so much for me.

Without further ado, let’s begin.

Hello Rikard!

If you meet me in the street, you wouldn’t recognize me. Sure we have similar voice, same height and the same face…but other than that, there is not that much we would have in common. First off we have different outward appearance: different body language, different hair and also completely different clothing style. If only the differences would stop there, but they don’t. You would notice I’m a humorous person, gladly look you in the eyes when we talk, got more confidence when I speak, plenty of interests and also can’t help to make weird inside jokes that you only get by hanging out with me.

Would you believe if I told you: that I’m what you will become 10 years from now?

You probably don’t believe me, but you don’t need to right now. The important thing is that I want to share with you what things you will do in later on in your life. 10 years is a long time, you have used that time for more things than you could imagine and you will grow so much.

To begin with, do you remember how many times people called you dumb and even a teacher said you wouldn’t make it in life? You for a long time would believe them. How wrong they were. In 10 years you have studied in two universities, gotten a bachelor degree from both of them: one in game design and the other one in European studies. In both instances you had to read a lot of philosophy to write the essays/thesis and if you only had more money you would more than gladly study more. You’re 18, doubting yourself so much…but right now you can’t wait to read and learn more, because you have a thirst of learning not everyone has! Heck, often you find yourself reading Kierkegaard/Thoreu (you will know them in due time) on the bus…does that sound like a dumb person to you?

Right now, you have developed agoraphobia because of the anxiety. You are afraid of crowds, having presentations, taking the bus/train/plane and go on stage. You feel weak and worthless for not being able to do many things required to achieve your dreams. And I’m not going to lie: it will stay with you for a while. There will be nights you cry, presentations you will fear, buses you avoid and life just seems scarier. But you will face your fears time and time again…and now you can’t wait to get up on stage and show everyone who you are. You travel whenever you got the time and money, you even faced your fear of flying going to Ireland and right now you can’t wait to fly to Japan! Yes, there is still things you are afraid of…but overcoming that incredible obstacle shows how strong you are. Right now: you can’t wait to conquer the other fears in your life!

As you’re reading this, you’re probably thinking “how could anything I’ve read be possible? I can’t do anything”. Once again I must be honest: your weak self-confidence is still a bit of an issue, as there are so many projects you want to do and you can’t help to hesitate: “what if I can’t do it?”. Trust me: you have done so much and even if your confidence could be stronger…it is incredibly stronger than it was before. There are a lot of moments were you outdone yourself, here are a few: one semester you wrote a thesis while studying at another university (the thesis was a smash success!), you took the role as an organizer and NAILED it (it was your first time), you learned to sew and your first costume was a 18^th century military uniform (You probably wondering why the heck you would start sewing, I’ll tell you later!). And it gets better. Even if you are struggling with starting projects because you’re worrying it might fail: slowly things are changing. Because recently you started a project that has grabbed the attention of several people all over Sweden, many are curious how it will turn out and can’t wait for you to finish it. Best of all: even if this project might not turn out perfect, you still wanna go trough with this to the end and are so excited to finish it. Because you have learned that the biggest price isn’t the audience number or critical praise: but to actually create something that grows with you and changes you to something you didn’t even know existed. Who knows what projects awaits in the future, either way you are more excited in life than ever!

But the best thing of all…you won’t experience all of this alone. I know you feel lonely right now Rikard, you got few friends and none of them make you comfortable. But now, you’re surrounded by many…MANY incredible people that enrich your life in so many ways. They have helped you through tough times, helped you on your projects, helped you grow and supported you…not like your old “friends”. You will learn so much from them all, because they come from so many places. Iceland, Ireland, USA, Norway, Finland, Denmark…and that is not all of the countries they come from. And even in Sweden they all come from different groups, giving you plenty of perspectives on life and thus saving you from a boring, monotone, life. Even 10 years later, you sometimes think “Do I even deserve these wonderful people?”. One of the best feelings is to make them smile, laugh and happy because they deserve it and much more. They have given you one of the most valuable things in life: memories. And more will come.

I’m not going to lie, there have also been some dark times to…to deny this would be an atrocious sin. Your anxiety will never go away and you know your confidence, even if it is much better, will never soar like it does for many other people. As long as there are successful people, you can’t help to compare yourself to them. This is another reason I’m writing this to you: to tell you, and remind me, something important. No one else have your memories, no one else have gone through exactly what you have, no one else smiles the way you do, no one looks into the future the same way you do. You got your own history, one the be incredibly proud of. You are Rikard, and you should be so proud of it.

Better end this letter now, got to stop procrastinating and finish my projects. Got so much more to learn!

Take care of yourself
//love, a 29 year old nerdy dork.

PS. Tack för att du finns

Of all the interests/hobbies in my life, cosplay is probably one of them that has made a greater impact on me these last 7 years. It helped me meet my current friends, made me get out of my comfort zone and try new things, like getting on stage. It helped me fight my insecurities/phobias. It truly is an hobby that has played a important role in my life. I'm not the only one who has been deeply affected, most of my friends have a close relation to this hobby... some even told me that it saved their life and motivates them to fight their inner demons. For some people, cosplay is their raison d'etre (reason for existence). With a hobby that important, you can't really help but to reflect on what truly makes it stand out from other hobbies like gaming, skydiving, racing etc.

"But what is cosplay?" one might ask. To begin with, the word itself is a abbreviation of the words "costume play". It is a hobby where you dress up as various characters, mostly from popular culture like video games, movies, comics etc. Some buy their costumes or use bought garments, while others make their costumes from scratch by themselves to represent the character they want. This is the basic way to describe this hobby, but there are tons of details or perspectives of it.

You could get tons of answers from different people at cosplay conventions, but if you would ask me: one of the reasons cosplay truly stands out is because it is art. Then again, there are many ways to interpret the word "art". Some think of museums, Da Vinci, that boring subject at school, a way to express emotions or portray current society. It's a difficult thing to define what art truly is.

However, about half a year ago I found a book that would have a big impact on how I perceive art: The Relevance of Beautiful (Die aktualitet des Schönen), written by Hans-Georg Gadamer and published in 1977. In this book, Gadamer argues that there are not one but three analogies to describe art, which sets it apart from other activities or aesthetics. These 3 distinct analogies are: art as play, art as symbol and art as festival. In this essay, I will present how Gadamer relates these analogies to art, and motivate how and why these descriptions fit well with cosplay. With the help of a modern philosopher, I will prove that cosplay indeed is an art form like no other!

Disclaimer: for reference, I'm using a swedish copy of the book (Konst som spel, symbol och fest), so the pages where the actual quotes and passages taken from the book may differ in copies written in the english version.

Play

Gadamer begins discussing art as "play" by stating that humans have based their culture around play. It's an elementary part of our life (Gadamer, page 69, 1977), from playing with each other as children to playing soccer/board games, it plays a bigger part than we can imagine! But what does it really mean when you are playing a game? The simple answer is: an activity that in a varied way repeats itself. This can also apply to, for example, the way the waves play, it comes and goes and without a set course. "Play" is a self-motion, that serves no purpose. However, when humans play, they gladly put some reason into it..like it's an act without a final purpose, but the act itself becomes the purpose: you mean something with the play (Gadamer, page 71, 1977). It becomes a communicative action.

We can already see a connection now between art and play, but Gadamer goes even further. When talking about "Play", it is also important to mention the scope/room of the play: what can be understood and what can be communicated. Look at a simple game like golf: you can only act in one way to win and finish the game, you can find excitement in different ways but the end result tends to be the same. In Art, the scope of the play leaves room for many interpretations for different people to focus on: some view the Mona Lisa as a work of art that defines the renaissance, some look at the wonderful strokes, some look at the details like her hands or smile...the interpretations or communication is almost endless! Every interpretation is your way of playing the game: art is a free form of play.

The same thing can be said about cosplay. From the earlier description, it seems about right with the sewing and constructing of patterns being an activity that repeats itself in various ways. After that you could make the argument that cosplay doesn't offer a big room for interpretations: the goal of cosplay crafting is to look similar to a character. It has a definite and universal goal, in other words.

Cosplayer: Swedicandy cosplay

Photo: JL Cosplay.Studio 

Cosplayer: Nabbe cosplay

Cosplayer: Izelyca
Photo: Paxby cosplay

There isn't ONE way of doing a character since the intrepretations, the crafting, the purpose of the crafting itself, varies in so many ways. People have time after time said that cosplay is for everyone and amusingly enough, they were more right than they even imagined. Everyone might not enjoy your cosplay, but the same applies to art...art isn't meant for everyone to enjoy in the same manner, there are so many ways to find enjoyment in it. Cosplay is a free form of play, which is one of the reasons that it is art.

However, by just using free form of play as definition for art...much more activities could be considered art: some play soccer by changing a few rules, some play a game where the goal is to lose and so forth. We still have two more analogies to present before we can make it absolutely clear that cosplay is art. Next up is "symbol"

Symbol

Gadamer first presents an interesting insight on where the word "symbol" comes from: it was a greek term for a token of remembrance (tessera hospitatis) that could be broken into two and given to a guest so his/her descendant could come to the home and join the two pieces together, to kindle an act of recognition (Gadamer, page 83, 1977). Symbol is something you used for identifying an old acquaintance.

Art works in a smiliar way, says Gadamer in similar vein as its beauty is the ever sought after fragment that completes and makes our lives whole. A symbol that stands on its own but still becomes complete and meaningful thanks to the eye of the beholder (Gadamer, page 84, 1977).

Yet the artwork itself speak to us as its own work, not just as any conveyer of messages. Art simply doesn't refer to ONE thing, it doesn't exist simply for ONE representation. Furthermore, art differs greatly from what humanity has achieved from a productive stand point with crafts and technique: every product from there is only meant to serve as tools, they are easily reproduced and replaceable. For art, it's the other way around: it is irreplaceable. Ruining a artwork is even to this day and age an almost religious misdeed, just becuase, compared to a simple product; it cannot be replaced by another exact copy. If it's lost then it is lost forever. Even to this day and age, when we have technology to make copies, a photo or a CD is still just a reproduction...not a representation.

As you probably noticed, the first half of this segment connects well with cosplay: cosplay works very well as something you use for identifying an acquaintance...namely people who are part of the same fandom as you. If you would ask anyone at a convention how they first met, it would probably be becuase their friend wore a symbol, a cosplay, that was connected either to their own costume or simply to something of their interest!

Cosplay: Rebecca Storhaug and Breezy Glover  (Photo: Gunnar Nilsson)

Cosplay: Mizzpig Cosplay & Bringmethekelly Cosplay (Photo: Micheal Bengtsson)

Cosplay: Richard Desiatnik (Photo by: Louise Vedin)

Cosplay is also a symbol that stands on its own but gains a unique value thanks to the eye of the beholder. We already mentioned how it can gain a value by simply being a part of the fandom it represents, but it can also be appreciated for: the historical connections you could make from observing the design, how the cosplay reminds you of different emotions like fear/madness/innocence, childhood memories. The skill of the craftsmanship itself just brings appreciation in incredibly many ways (the seams, the color work)....yes I could go on since there are endless possible ways to appreciate cosplay!

Cosplays (left to right): Svärdsdotter Design & customes and Johanna Nybelius

And lastly: I can even present an argument that cosplay, just like Gadamer's vision of art, can never be replaced. You might think "but I can just make another cosplay, or someone at the conventions might cosplay the same character (with the same outfit)". And yes it is true, cosplay can definitely be reproduced and look similar to each other, that you cannot deny. However, I would say that you are only thinking about one side of cosplay, the finished product. There is another side of cosplay that truly helps it become art. You see, even if someone might do the same character or design...no one can do the same seams, go trough the same planning, use the exact same fabric everywhere, work with the same dedication and even inspiration as you did. The result might look the same, but the craftsmanship is still unique. It is irreplacable.

From Left to right: Morran cosplay (Photo: Flupps), Red Lady shinigami cosplay  (Photo: Norea Cederblad), Ninjutsuki Cosplay (Photo: Kristina Johansson)

It doesn't matter how the finished product looks like, the process of the creation makes it unique and irreplacable

We have now gone trough two of the analogies to describe art according to Gadamer, and yet it is not over. We still have ONE last analogy that will help define cosplay as art: "Festival".

Festival

Gadamer begins by making it clear that the meaning of festival is to oppose every tendency to isolation, it is the ultimate expression of community: the festival is made for everyone (Gadamer, page 96, 1977). Other than that, it is truly hard to define what a festival truly is. You could bring in different results from science or philology and yet don't achieve any proper answer. However, Gadamer decides to try to define it from one observation: that festivals are part of holidays we celebrate. What defines "to celebrate" is "to not work", since work is what separates us human beings, and by celebrating we finally join together again. With this, Gadamer makes the statement; that to arrange festivals is an art form, it has after all some defined customs, but still has freedom to allow variations. This might sound like the earlier analogy "Play", but it is here this analogy will go in its own direction.

The festival has its own time structure: when there is a festival, the time simply doesn't pass trough various forms off relieving moments, but passes as you take part of the whole festivity. Even if the festival has a detailed timetable, it is only so that the festivity can be performed. In other words: it got a time of its own. Time itself becomes a festivity, you simply forget the clock and your appointments. It s the same with art: for an example as soon as someone listens to music, they simply allow time to flow and pay less mind to it. When someone connects with a painting, either from personal experience or knowledge of its specific art form, time flies as you, in a way, enter the world of the artwork. We learn to linger with the art, but this lingering never becomes tedious. The more we engage with the art, the more it speaks to us and shows us perspective and layers that makes it richer. Gadamer finishes his analogy with these words: This might be our allotted finite equivalent to what we call eternity (Gadamer, page 105, 1977).

We can start right off with comparing this analogy with cosplay by stating the inclusiveness this art form brings us: cosplay and the community it comes with opposes the tendency of isolation. So many have told me that they were alone before they entered the cosplay community, they found a way to break their tendency of isolation, made from either fear, sorrow or mental illness. And this artform is not restricted to anyone: no matter your body type, skin color, height, gender etc...you are all welcome to bring forth different interpretations, versions of your favorite characters. Cosplay is made for everyone. There are those who would say otherwise, but ironically it is the same people who wouldn't identify cosplay as an artform. Which is fair since they aren't artists to begin with.

Left to right: Sorghrim Cosplay, Johanna Nybelius,  Pia Merlilin

No matter how you look, you're still an artist!

And finally I think it's safe to say: that cosplay got a time of its own. Because whenever I start crafting costumes, whether working on a prop, cutting patterns or sewing, I can't help but to feel like time flows. I've found myself forgetting to check the clock, forgetting deadlines (even forgotten to eat sometimes). Time itself has become a festivity, thanks to cosplay. Even if you don't agree with me that the crafting-process would qualify as what makes cosplay art, then how about when we go to cosplay conventions? Whether you walk around in your own costume or simply walk around and enjoy the convention on its own: you simply can't help but to look around and see the endless forms of beautiful costumes all the cosplayers that have put tons of time, effort and passion into. I remember my first convention back in 2009 and how the hours passed as I walked around, taking pictures and applauding people for their amazing work on their costumes. It even gets better when you've made your own costumes, then the works of others become more familiar, and you find even more things to discuss or inspect. In other words: the more we engage with cosplay, the more it speaks to us and shows us perspective and layers that makes it richer, like art.

First and latest cosplay by: Darkesttears Design (Photo: The Kensry-kun)

A cosplayer's time flies like none other

Conclusion

It's amazing how much happiness a hobby can give you, but it's even more amazing when you can fall in love with it more than ever after seeing it from another perspective. When I first began cosplaying, I simply saw it as a way to spend quality time with friends or to simply try a new thing to see how it would affect my life. Little did I know how it would change me as a person and give me happiness, like few hobbies have ever done. 

For me it has been breaking isolation, being a symbol and a free form of play...what has it been for you?

But what really is wonderful, is that by just reading a 40 year old book, I can't help but to fall even more in love with this hobby. Many would argue that if you try to rationalize or have a more in-depth discussion about cosplay, it would either be futile or it could even make you look down on this particular hobby that is supposed to make you happy. But after reading this book, finding connections between its message and cosplay, it hasn't made me look down on this hobby. It has rather made me realize it is so much more than just a simple activity to pass time: it is an art form that has managed to change the lives of so many people all over the world, in more ways than they ever could've imagined. It's amazing to find that cosplay, often associated with "nerds" or "no life", can even be loved or admired from an artistic, philosophical and even academic stand point. It is one of the things in the world that has proven to me that love can be even sweeter than it already is. Something already beautiful and wonderful can be more than that: you just need to open your eyes for the ever broadening horizon.

I can't wait to see how this art form will evolve and change the lives for more people in the future.

Reference list

Gadamer, Hans-Georg. (1977). Konst som spel, symbol och fest. Ludvika: Dualis Förlag AB.